me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
