i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
