Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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