Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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