Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
