normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
