we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
