You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
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I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
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my poor anus
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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