The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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