Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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