it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
