Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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