I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
operation harelip BJ is a go
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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