There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
