We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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