he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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