I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We need to feng shui this bitch.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
