new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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