I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
