only if we run a train.
done.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
