First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
