I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
