Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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