Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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