this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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