Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize