So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
