Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
