His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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