BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He did a backflip because drugs
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