turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
