Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
