my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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