yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
