Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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