I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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