all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm way too hungover for life right now
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
