Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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