Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
