the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
