are you still at the devil's house?
did you get engaged???
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
