I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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