DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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