Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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