Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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