They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize