We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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