Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
