I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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