i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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