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• (607): View more from New York

  I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.

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• (562): View more from California

  about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....

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• (718): View more from New York

  He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.

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• (714): View more from California

  Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.

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