I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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