u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
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They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
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all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us