Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.

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  (925): If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying. http://tfl.nu/0bns
  Replies (22) Good night (3032) Bad night (795)
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  (951): View more from California

  As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it

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  (951): As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it http://tfl.nu/zufl
  Replies (9) Good night (2424) Bad night (758)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.

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  (571): capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid. http://tfl.nu/gx7i
  Replies (9) Good night (3751) Bad night (588)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house

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  (732): so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house http://tfl.nu/3ust
  Replies (18) Good night (651) Bad night (3937)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  you are hot. that is all.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  who is this?

  (480): View more from Arizona

  the delivery driver from silvermine.

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  (480): you are hot. that is all. (1-480): who is this? (480): the delivery driver from silvermine. http://tfl.nu/dvq3
  Replies (32) Good night (5614) Bad night (1494)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage

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  (630): he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage http://tfl.nu/nrg5
  Replies (39) Good night (1184) Bad night (13310)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.

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  (586): there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control. http://tfl.nu/uxm4
  Replies (13) Good night (1674) Bad night (3675)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.

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  (734): Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success. http://tfl.nu/ji3r
  Replies (10) Good night (1887) Bad night (911)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco

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  (847): Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco http://tfl.nu/zw9u
  Replies (18) Good night (3189) Bad night (1464)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick

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  (423): Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick http://tfl.nu/qnn8
  Replies (21) Good night (1435) Bad night (2071)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.

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  (708): he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay. http://tfl.nu/sfnl
  Replies (6) Good night (1251) Bad night (701)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love

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  (905): he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love http://tfl.nu/0ny7
  Replies (21) Good night (3642) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.

  (1-903): View more from Texas

  Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.

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  (903): Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped. (1-903): Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good. http://tfl.nu/iolm
  Replies (8) Good night (1662) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.

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  (250): It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt. http://tfl.nu/flxk
  Replies (2) Good night (451) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic

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  (323): He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic http://tfl.nu/gf3l
  Replies (1) Good night (147) Bad night (390)

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