i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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