that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
