I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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