He had one of those small greek statue penises
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
