he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
