he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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