dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize