I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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