I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
