You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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