I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?