shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.