so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
